Let the fun begin!

Reagan had her 4 month check up yesterday and got a good bill of health. She weighs 13.4 and is 23 inches long. This puts her in the 25% on weight and 5% on height. She's going to be an itty bitty apparently. Dr. Hampton still hears her heart murmur but isn't too concerned over it. She said if she still hears it at 6 months, then she'll refer us to a cardiologist to get an eco. She got her DTap and Rotavirus shot and did so good! We have a great nurse that gets the shot over with so quickly. By the time I had picked her up and held her for a few seconds, she had calmed down. Of course I cried when I took her band aid off last night and saw the little drop of blood. I hate thinking of my poor baby hurting. We celebrated her doing so well at the doctor with going on a long walk with the Culvers. Reagan absolutely adores Hailey and laughs anytime she's around.
Since she hit 13 pounds and is 4 months, we are now starting rice and cereal. Exciting! We got ready to give her rice last night and realized we don't have a spoon for her! We're still such newbies. In two weeks we get to start vegetables and fruit. I can't believe we've already reached the solid food point. I'm still nursing, so hopefully balancing nursing with rice/oatmeal and fruits/vegetables works out. Let the flying peas and splattered carrots begin!

Well....it finally happened....

It finally happened......we've spent weeks even months leading up to this moment...a moment I thought may never happen....I moment I wasn't necessarily ready for.....a monumental stepping stone to the future of our daughter.....Reagan spent the night in HER room in HER bed. That's right people, Ben finally won and Reagan is sleeping in her crib. Ahhh...let me pause a moment to wipe away my tears. Joking aside, where has my little baby gone!? She has been replaced with a sweet little girl who holds her head up all by herself, almost rolls over, jibber jabbers back to me, blows bubbles at me, holds on to her toys by herself and gasp...sleeps in her own bed. I thought for sure the first night she slept in her bed, I would be weeping outside the door the entire night. Ben put a quick stop to that when I kept sneaking in to check on her. We are doing the 15 minute cry it out method (heart wrenching but works like a charm!) and was a little frustrated that my 15 minutes was really about 3 1/2....by far the longest 3 1/2 minutes EVER! While Ben loves her to pieces, he just can't grasp how much I love her. It isn't natural for a mom to carry a baby for 10 months (it's not 9 months people...don't let them lie to you) and then feel comfortable putting your baby out of sight for bedtime only 3 months after their arrival. I laugh at myself when I remember back pre-Reagan when I thought I had it all figured out and my list of "I will nevers"....oh how God makes us realize how little control we really have. I think I've broken almost all of them already...keep in mind my kid is not even 4 months yet!

I'll never let her sleep in our bed. (check)

I would never let her sleep in our room past 6 weeks. (check)

I would never let her sleep in a swing/bouncy seat. How awful. (check)

I would never spend that much on an outfit. That's absurd. (check)

I will never be that mom that is afraid of her kid getting germs. (check)

I'm proud of Ben and I sticking to our sleep regiment...or should I say Ben taking charge and keeping us on our sleep plan. I live for the cuddle moments before bedtime and can't wait until the morning when I get to snuggle her while she's still asleep (before she wakes up and becomes livid that she's so hungry). I love being a wife. I love being a daughter. I love being a sister. There are no words though to describe the joy in being a mommy, other than simply the best. Reagan has become a mommy's girl and cries when I leave her or she can see me and someone else is holding her. While I think it drives Ben crazy, I must admit...I totally enjoy it. :)

New Pictures of My Sweet Sweet Baby Girl

My baby girl is getting so big! She has started (finally!) sleeping in her bassinet. Yes, until now she has been sleeping in her bouncy seat and swing. It worked...don't judge. Thursday morning I woke up and she had turned herself 180 degrees during the night. When I went to pick her up she was all smiles...completely happy with what she had done. I know she's a genius, but I'm even more convinced now. :) She mimics me and blows bubbles back whenever I make the "brrr...." sound with my lips. Genius I tell you. I love her SO much! Here are some recent pictures. Yes, she is normally this happy and all smiles. How lucky am I?



(Reagan smiling at her Papa)


(Reagan hanging out with her Aunt Jen)


(Reagan and her Papa)

Through the Fire

Ben and I went to the funeral yesterday of Matt's dad and left feeling so inspired and encouraged. While sadness was definitely present, so was the Father's love and grace. The ceremony turned into a great time of worship and we sang this song. It really spoke to me. What a bold statement....He never promised that the cross would not get heavy. BUT..he also promised that he would show up and take us through the fire again. We are not alone. We are not orphans. We are His children. When I look at Reagan, I can now better understand His love for us. Completely indescribable.