What an exciting time. Ben and I have decided that I will soon get to stay home with Reagan and be a full-time mommy. I have never been content in leaving her since going back to work almost 9 months ago. We have been so blessed to have both of our moms watch her as well as Rachel, our sweet nanny. However, I didn't feel satisfied as a mom in having other people tell me my daughter's nap schedule or new tricks that she learned that day. I've felt that as her mom, I should be home with her enjoying these special moments...and now I will be. With transition comes sacrifice though. Losing an income is a little painful, but I feel like it's so much more than that. The Lord is really testing us in being able to step out in faith. We continue to pray for doors to open and opportunities to arise for Ben's job, but we both felt very strongly that we couldn't wait until the pieces fell together before making a decision. So, we are leaping in blind faith and know that the Lord will provide. I have to remind myself of the Lord's greater plan quite frequently. Examples of conversations I have with myself throughout the day...by the way..I'll preface this with saying that I am well aware that all of these ideas floating in my head are completely selfish...
"We need to get this truck sold. What are we going to buy when we do sell the truck? Will my pride let me buy a less than cool car? Who cares Joanna...I may not be driving in style but at least I'll be the one driving Reagan around."
"Ugh....no cable. How am I going to survive? Who cares Joanna...you can sacrifice the 1 hour of TV that you watch at night for 10 hours of playing time with your daughter."
"Will we be able to move into a bigger home in 2 years like our original plan? Our house is just fine for our little family Joanna and if I get to stay here and play in this house all day with Reagan, I am a million times better off than leaving her behind in a bigger home on my way to work."
"No more iphone..am I crazy? No, I'm not crazy. Great idea to cut down on costs as well as distractions. Even more face time that I get to spend with my little one playing dress up, having tea parties and reading great stories."
"So, I went to TCU and grad school for what...?? Joanna, just because you're going to be staying at home doesn't mean you don't need a brain. You have so much to teach Reagan and hopefully I'll be able to do free lance work to keep my mind sharp for when I do enter back into the work field."
Just a few examples though these continue to play out throughout my day. I am so excited for this new stage in life and for the blessing of being able to stay home with Reagan. Things I'm looking forward to:
*The obvious in getting to spend more time with my favorite gal
*Having the time to volunteer more at church and the Mission
*Establishing friendships with other stay-at-home moms through playdates and Bible studies
*Being able to go visit grandparents, great grandparents and cousins more often
*Brushing up on my domestic goddess side. It's become a hobby of mine to see how much of our everyday things I can make instead of having to purchase at the store.
While we know that challenges may lay ahead, we have no doubt that we are being faithful in following the Lord's plan for our family.
In celebration, here are a few pictures of me and my favorite girl. :)
